when i do my cut and turn on my sas, i need to set my pinion to point at the transfer case for a good drive angle obviously...but do i want it to point straight at it at ride height or at full droop?

if i did it at ride height, at full droop, my the drive shaft would be kicked up from the pinion some amount, but probably not dangerously high.

if i did it at full droop, i would have some drive shaft angle at ride height...so

which is the best way? i figure i will be doing highway miles with the truck still so maybe having it straight at ride height is a better idea. less wear and tear on the ujoints?

Assuming you have a CV front shaft point it at the t-case with it at ride. If you dont have a CV shaft it will vibrate either way.